Fallen
by HopelessDove
Summary: He's angry, lost and bitter; and sometimes the hero is the one who needs saving. Dedicated to everyone who feels worthless. WARNING: A LOT OF CURSING.


**Hey guys, it's NikiD1233 (or whatever I've decided to change my pen name to). Anyways, this story is dedicated to anyone out there who feels worthless. I want you to know that people understand, and that you are amazing and beautiful and loved.**

**Songs I listened to while writing this (in case you want to listen while reading): **

**Bethamphetamine (Pretty Pretty) by Butch Walker**

**The Ballad of Mona Lisa by Panic! at the Disco**

* * *

Water. Filling his lungs, burning inside him. Ice cold, gripping him by his throat. He scratches at his face and let's out a scream. Fury and hate, hopelessness and lost dreams swirling inside. He's angry and sad and bitter and numb and he doesn't know how to handle it, so he just lets what is supposed to be his greatest weapon cause him to sink. And when his father grabs him by his hair and yanks him out and looks at him in such a sad and disappointed way, he just feels his heart harden a bit more.

* * *

Months go by, and he's just getting worse. Every second feels as if the tides are pulling him under, and he is itching to be free and can't stand to be in the same place anymore. He's been pushed aside and forgotten by everyone he loves, and he can't stand it because they just used him and once he did his job they pushed him aside for the next hero. It makes him sick just to look at them but he has _no where else to go_. His mom kicked him out and his dad cares about his new son now and the others just forgot about him and nobody cares if he sticks around, so he has to stay. And sometimes when he's sitting at his father's table at dinner, as far away from his brother as he can be, he hears them whisper and it's worse than when they ignore him.

_"I hear he used to be great."_

_ "Yeah, USED to be."_

_ "What happened?"_

_ "No clue, don't really care either. You should forget about him too."_

_ "Yeah, you're right."_

And he shoves his untouched food away and quietly walks out, because it was so much better when they forgot about him. It was better to feel like nobody than to remember the naïve little soldier he used to be.

* * *

_"You're a worthless piece of shit, you know."_

_ "Thanks for the vote of confidence, Dad. You weren't saying that when I saved your fucking ass."_

_ "Don't call me that. Get out of my sight."_

_ "My pleasure."_

* * *

He started smoking a while ago, and drinking and snorting and shooting and a lot of other things that probably aren't good for him. But it doesn't matter, because he's so empty all the time and they make him feel alive. Whether it be the burn from the cigarettes and the buzz from the booze, or that free feeling from the weed and the feeling of being invincible from the coke. And he started cutting himself not too long ago, and the slashes in his arms and the numb feeling of the blood pumping makes him feel sick. He hates it almost as much as he hates himself, but it makes him feel alive and forget, so he can't help but love it at the same time.

* * *

He doesn't know where she came from, or anything about her really. All he knows is he had just shot up some smack and was currently holding a freshly-lit joint in one hand, a bottle of beer in his other; and then she popped up.

_"That shit fucks with you."_

_ "And why do I give a shit?"_

_ "Never said it wasn't worth it. Pass the joint." He doesn't know who she is or what she's doing here, but he passes her the joint and looks at her as she takes a drag and puffs the air out slowly. She's pale, with long black hair and some weird eyes that look purple, and she kinda looks like his cousin but he tosses that thought in the trash because this girl is hauntingly beautiful in a way his cousin isn't. "Quit staring, Hero." _

_ "Who are you?" he asks, ignoring her nickname for him._

_ "Eh, I've got a lot of names. Just call me Ebony."_

_ "Ebony?" he snorts. "Come on, tell me your real name."_

_ "Don't really got one. Now, who are you?" she asks, passing the joint back to him._

_ "Not really sure anymore."_

_ "Then let's make you into a new person. Start over." _

_ "Alright. I guess you can call me Rune, then."_

_ "Alright, Rune. Now, let's get shitfaced." Ebony says, tossing Rune a smirk._

* * *

Ebony has been around ever since. Every day, she's there with him. And he still feels empty, but at least he's not alone anymore. And they don't say much, they only really talk when it's late and dark out and they're as high as the stars are up in the sky. And when they're high and downing that whiskey, lying on the beach, they talk nonsense and about things that hurt and suddenly it doesn't hurt so much anymore.

_"Have you ever been in love?" Ebony asks; her dark hair sprawled around her and her violet eyes wide. _

_ "Yeah, once." Rune replies, his eyes fixed up above._

_ "What happened?"_

_ "She was tall and blonde and pretty and smart, and I was me. And she fell in love with someone else so I let her go."_

_ "Why did you let her go?"_

_ "Would you fight a battle that was already lost?"_

_ "No."_

_ "Exactly."_

And other times, they talk about random things that make no sense but it does to them, and that's all that matters.

_"What's your favorite instrument?" Rune asks Ebony._

_ "The saxophone." she says after a moment._

_ "Why?" he asks, sitting up slightly to look at her._

_ "Because it sounds like sex." she responds, not missing a beat. And he can't help but smile._

* * *

He was getting better. He wasn't as sad anymore, and he didn't feel alone. Yes, he didn't look that great; but he felt better than ever. He had a tattoo now, a flying raven on his heart; and he loves it more than he loves himself. He started to smile more, and he still didn't eat much but he at least took one bite of his food. He's trying to stop cutting himself, he's been clean for almost a month; and he's still smoking and drinking, but he isn't shooting and snorting that much. Overall, he was better.

And then it was ruined.

_"I have to leave for a while." Ebony tells him one night._

_ "I'll come with you." he immediately responds._

_ "You can't."_

_ "Why?"_

_ "Because you can't!" she snaps, glaring at him. There's a tense silence between them, and Rune opens his mouth to say something but she cuts him off. "Nothing you say will change my mind. See ya later, Rune." And she was gone. He stays on his own in the silent forest, his fists clenched at his sides and glares up at the sky, taking a drag from his cigarette._

It's been two months since Ebony took off, and ever since then, he's been going downhill again. Cutting every day, each cut deeper than the last. Shooting heroine whenever he can, and if not that then snorting some coke. He doesn't eat anymore, hell he doesn't even show up to meals. He's all skin and bones now, his skin as white as a ghost. His eyes are dull now, and his dark hair is an unkempt mess. He's as angry now as he was before, but he's even more bitter and his heart is practically made of stone.

_"Hey." a girl calls from a few feet away. He looks away from the stars and takes a drag, and for a moment he thinks the girl is Ebony but he realizes it isn't. She isn't as pale, her features aren't as sharp, and the eye colors don't match._

_ "Hi." Rune says, blowing the smoke out into the night sky._

_ "How have you been?" she asks, shuffling a few feet closer, her spiky black hair blowing in the wind._

_ "Just swell." he says with a snort. _

_ "You look like shit." she says bluntly, looking him up and down disapprovingly._

_ "Thanks for sharing, even though no one fucking asked you." he snaps._

_ "I'm worried about you." _

_ "Go fuck yourself." Rune growls, finally making eye contact._

_ "What the fuck is your problem?" she snarls at him, suddenly angry._

_ "A lot of fucking things, thanks for asking. Now if you'll leave me the fuck alone."_

_ "I'm just trying to check up on you! I care about you! We all do, and you keep pushing us away!"_

_ "Who fucking cares about me? Don't you dare fucking lie to me like that again, because none of you give a shit about me. Where were you guys when I needed you? Oh yeah, kissing ass to the next big thing. Right after I did my job and saved all your lives. Once I did what I needed there was no need to give a shit about me, right? Yeah, that's definitely ME pushing YOU away. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have shit to do. Have a shitty night and fuck you." Rune hisses, standing up and storming off._

* * *

He's angry and bitter, with no one in the world he's going to blame but himself. He's empty inside and wants an escape and he just wants to be free. That's all that's running through his mind as he shoots up heroine and snorts coke and cuts his wrists and drinks three bottles of vodka on his own. And he didn't really mean to screw himself over so badly, but at the same time he did because he was sick and tired of the world seeming to be against him.

_"Rune? Rune? Hello?" a voice calls out, walking into a silent clearing in the woods. "Rune? Come on, I know you're still mad, but please. Talk to me." _

_ "Ebony?" a voice groggily calls out._

_ "Rune?" Ebony perks up, looking around for him worriedly. _

_ "O-over here." he calls, his voice shaky and fragile. She quickly spots him curled up on the floor and quickly runs over to him. _

_ "Christ, Rune; what the fuck did you do?" Ebony whispers._

_ "I-I just wanted to sleep. i just want to sleep." he says, his voice soft._

_ "You can't go to sleep, Rune. You can't. You fucking can't. I need you, you hear me? I need you, and they need you, and everybody needs you. Please, Rune; don't fall asleep." Ebony begs, holding onto his hands._

_ "But I'm so tired." he whines, his eyes wide and staring up at her._

_ "I know, Rune. I know." she says gently, praying to any of the gods that will listen because he needs to be saved. _

_ "Ebony, I'm going to go to sleep now. And one day, I'll wake up, and everything will be okay again. Okay?"_

_ "No, Rune. No, not okay! Rune! Stop it! Rune!" Ebony cries, shaking him trying to prevent him from slipping away and praying to any god who will listen._

_ "Everything will be okay. I promise." Rune says; his voice soft and fading, his breath uneven and shallow. _

_ "Rune, for gods' sake, knock it off! Rune! Come on!" Ebony cries, desperate, but his eyes are turning glassy now and he isn't breathing anymore. She lays her head against his chest and hears one, two, three thumps. Then nothing. She lets out an angry cry and stands up, glaring at the heavens. "Fuck you! You didn't save him! You could have, but you didn't! Fuck you!" she cries, and falls to her knees next to him again. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I should've saved you. They didn't, so I should've. I should've regardless of if they could've. And I didn't and I took off and I'm so sorry. And look at you, you're dead and we didn't stop it, and I'm so sorry. You didn't have to do this though. You didn't have to. Rune….no. That's who you were when you died. You were Percy Jackson when you were alive. And by the gods, Percy; what have you done?"_

* * *

I once knew a guy. He was sweet and kind, but bitter and angry and dead inside. And you know what? Regardless of all those things, Percy Jackson was a hell of a guy. And it isn't his fault that he was one of the many to have fallen down that fucked up shadowed hole, but I will always believe that he could've climbed out.

* * *

**So yeah. I hope you enjoyed. I really appreciate that you read this (: I kinda wrote this when I wasn't in the best possible state of mind, so yeah. It isn't that great, especially the ending, but I think it kinda gets my message across. You all are loved and needed and if you ever need to talk, you can Kik me or private message me on here or DM me on twitter or anything. On Kik, Twitter, Etc. I am NikiD1233, so if you want/need to talk, feel free to add me.**

**Speaking of NikiD1233, if you've been reading my works for a while you can see I've changed my pen name. The reason why is because I don't want people from school finding my works, and NikiD1233 is my username on all social networks, so yeah. And because I mentioned my other works, I just want to let you all know I'm going to be deleting some of them. I'm sorry, but just thinking of some of them makes me sick. I wrote many of those works on an iPad when I was 12/13 and running on little to no sleep, and the writing is so bad it makes me visibly cringe. Not all of them will be deleted, but quite a few of them. And I'm sorry for the lack of updates, I know I promised I would update Broken like a month or two ago, but the documents were lost again. I know why now though. My brother has been deleting them to mess with me, and I'm not sure if you know how annoying it is to write something 5 times because it keeps getting deleted and each time you write it, it's worse than the last; but it kinda makes you feel like shit. So yeah. I kinda stopped after writing the chapter after it happened so many times and have been trying to make it amazing. I am trying though.**

**So yeah, sorry for the really long AN, I really appreciate you reading all of this. Thank you guys, I love you all (: **


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